Magic and Mice
by xXVelvetSkiesXx
Summary: Sirius is forced to make a difficult decision between his love, and his addiction to fan fiction. Squeaky clean SBRL slashed oneshot. Flufftastical. Enjoy and REVIEW!


**Disclaimer:** If I owned the characters of Harry Potter, I wouldn't be keeping my spare change in a Tootsie Roll bank, now would I?

Note to Readers: Alright, I'm in a terrible mood, more so than usual (My poor family...), so I'm just going to get to the point. This is a short little oneshot Sirius/ Remus slash, but before you fret, don't worry, it's clean. Squeaky clean, in fact. As most of us are here do, Sirius has a severe addiction to Fan (gasp, I know). You'll have to read to rest. Oh, and the story will make much more sense if you have read any of my other piece, so feel free to read them. I guarentee they are better than this. Enjoy, and PLEASE REVIEW.

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_Magic and Mice_

Sirius Black's rapidly hovered over the warm keyboard of his HP pavillion, marveling over the exquistite imagery before his very eyes. Perfect, he thought to himself, absolutely perfect.

It took a moment for him to realize the change in the air around him, which now felt somewhat warmer, humid even. Suddenly, footsteps echoed down the hall of his London apartment from the bathroom, drawing nearer and nearer. Fearingly, he whipped the cursor to the top of the screen,desperately headed towards the small "x" set in the right corner, quickly hoping it wasn't too late...

Though despite Sirius's efforts, Remus had already caught sight of the blue and white screen. "Sirius," he said in a warning tone, "tell me that you aren't posting more raunchy stories about us on that fanfiction website again?"

A smirk spread across Sirius's face, attempting to look innocent for his freshly-showered spouse. "Remus, how could you ever acuse me of something so..."

"... true." Remus finished. "Honestly now, Sirius, I don't know how you can stand to read those riduculous stories."

Sirius looked up at the damp man behind him. "Ridiculous? Please..." he rolled his eyes. "Sure, some of them are... unrealistic." His mind reverted back to a rather graphic Dumbledore/Filch slash he had read that still managed to haunt his dreams and altogether loose a taste for sundaes."But even having said that, is not by any means ridiculous. Here, just take a look at this."

Grabbing the mouse, Sirius clicked into his favorite stories list and brought up the page. "Go ahead and read _this," _he said in a "_take that!_" sort of tone."

Tucking a wet lock of hair behind his ear, Remus looked at the page. "_Memories of Heaven_" he read from the top of the page, "Hmm, sounds touching."

"Yeah, it's a real tear-jerker," Sirius drawled.

After a couple of minutes, Remus blankly turned from the screen. "Alright... and you made me read that for what reason, now?"

"I made you read it because that, my dear Remus, is no work of fiction." Sirius's eyes glinted madly.

"You mean to tell me you believe that Severus is that incredibly pitiful?" Remus seemed less than impressed. "Come on, Sirius, I can understand that you loathe him, but to base such illogical notions all because of a silly stor-"

Sirius's brows furrowed, "I am not "basting anything illegal" or whatever the bloody hell you said! All I know is that this work of extrodinary blackmail is true, along with her other brilliant reports!"

Remus placed his head in his hands, "And who, exactly, is this person you say is the author of these... _reports_."

With lightening speed, Sirius exited out of _Memories of Heaven_, into his favorite authors list, and clicked into a user's profile. "Well, I don't know her real name, but I guarantee you, she is a very reliable source. Goes by the name xXVelvetSkiesXx."

Skipping through the profile, Remus sighed in exasperation, "Sirius, do you realize that you are actually believing an American teenager's stories posted on a fan **_fiction_** website on the Muggle internet?"

Sirius was beginning to have a slight sinking suspiscion that he just might be losing this battle. "Fine. Just... fine then!" he said folding his arms to his chest. "Don't believe them! But while I'm sitting here enjoying Severus's, now public, pain and embarassment, _REAL_ public pain and embarassment, mind you, YOU will be sitting there in a wet towel watching _Oprah _reruns!"

Sirius looked down towards the floor to hide his welling eyes and hurt expression. "And Merlin, Remus, you're dripping on the floor!"

Remus closed his gaping mouth, utterly shocked and enraged, narrowing his eyes. "How dare you use the name of Oprah in vain!" he gasped taking a dramatic step away from Sirius. Suddenly he stopped. "And am I really dripping?" Remus looked down at the hardwood floor floors, now sprinkled with water.

Sirius did not reply. Instead, he stayed still and silent. Remus had hurt his feelings.

Placing a hand on Sirius's shoulder, Remus knelt down to his side. "Come now, Sirius..." he said gently, " don't be upset..."

Sirius sniffled, "but you don't believe me."

Remus thought for a moment, trying to think of an honest _and _nice way to respond to his distraught partner. "Well," he finally said, "I think that _you think_ you know what you're thinking."

Looking up at with two glassy, brown, puppy dog eyes, Sirius sheepishly smiled. "Sometimes, Remus, I think I think, too." The dark haired man then welcomed his lover into a loving embrace.

Remus smiled. Granted, Sirius was by no means the swiftest broom on the field, but it was the thought that counted... right? The men stayed locked within the comfort of one another's arms until a faint melody from the next room broke the silence.

Instantly recognizing the tune, Remus jumped excitedly from the man hug. "Oprah's on!" Hurriedly, he raced to the sitting room, towel fluttering in the wind of his speedy exit.

Sirius remained seated the computer, now alone. Glancing in to living room, he spied Remus, nestling up on the sofa, cozying up in the corner. Sirius turned back to the screen, knowing he now had a decision to make. Finally, after a moment of deep thought, he rose from the desk chair and ambled into the next room.

"May I join you, dear Remus?" he teasingly questioned.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were busy rummaging through your... reports."

Sirius grinned, "I've realized I have higher priorities at hand. Now, if you would kindly move over, I call the corner seat."

Both smiling and touched, Remus patted the seat next to him, "But of course..."

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_Meanwhile at Hogwarts_

Alone in the library, Severus Snape rested before the glowing white and blue screen of that illuminated the treacherously dark room. The entire library was silent, dead silent except for the occasional clicks of the lone computer's black mouse. Eagerly he scrolled up the screen, cruelly chuckling to himself at the words that lay scattered about the Sirius Black/Remus Lupin slash... Perfect, he thought to himself, absolutely perfect.

-FIN-

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**Author's note:** Alright, extraordinarily idiotic, yes, I know, but thank you for reading. If it is even possible, I hope you enjoyed reading this. Well, I must go and eat something before I start ranting again. Thanks again for reading, and remember, be a good samaritan. Help a cause and REVIEW. Please?


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